Friday 20 April 2007

Waiting

January 16 2007

The Year of the Pig

tuesday afternoon; colin and i caught a taxi to the veteran's hospital to see my neurosurgeon, dr.chung, for the first time. we were reconciled for the time being, but of course we had other fights. dealing with a serious illness puts a huge strain on a relationship, even when you are at home with family around - we didn't even have that luxury.
while in the taxi dr. tai (my neurologist) phoned me, did you get everything you need? do you know where you are going? 'yes, thank you'. this phone call just cemented my idea of him as this 'pseudo father figure'. what a sweetheart! I'm gonna miss him when i am all better :-) dr. chung is slightly different, a little more distant. but this might also be because his english is not as good as dr. tai's so there were a lot of misunderstandings at the beginning, we had to repeat things slowly and he had to do the same. but i couldn't have asked for a better doctor. he has 12 years of experience doing gamma knife radio surgery and he averages about three a day. he was supremely confident that my little 'bugger' wouldn't pose any problem and that i would have a full recovery without any problems in one to two years. god, that's a long time!

for a 26 year old who had been planning to leave taiwan in a few months to travel the world and taste all it had to offer, one - two years was a death sentence! no matter how many other things i had to be grateful for that was the only one that i cared about. how could i survive this, my life was over! a bit melodramatic when a few days earlier i could've had multiple sclerosis. but all i cared about was the fact that i couldn't do what i wanted to do, i couldn't be the fantastic, fascinating, free-spirited world traveller that i knew i was. the crazy, beautiful bohemian who drinks too much and lives life to the fullest, with a million adventures ahead of her and a million stories to tell. now i was a sick person, an invalid, i would live in pajamas, chug cocktails of pills instead of alcohol, leave the house rarely and then in a wheelchair and go to bed at 11pm every night.

i felt this bitterness for a long time, i was always aware of all the blessings and luck i had, but have only recently really come to appreciate them. so let's be positive and count the blessings; i had amazing doctors that found my AVM before it caused any permanent damage, i have a boss that adores me and was happy to help me keep my work visa and national health insurance, it had happened in taiwan: a country with some of the best and cheapest medical care in the world. just to put things in perspective: South Africa has had the gamma knife technology for 1 year, taiwan has had it for 16 years and to receive the medical treatment and drugs i have received here for a pittance (healthcare is heavily funded by the government) my mother and father would have had to sell their houses for in south africa. eg: an MRI in Taiwan cost 1000NT$ (R200); an MRI in South Africa costs 35 000NT$ (R7000) and i've already had two of those and got another one coming up in August. I had a lot of savings which has/will make it possible for me to pay all my medical bills and live without working for a long time. i have a fantastic boyfriend who has stayed by my side every step of the way, when many 25 year old males would've run for the hills. There are other blessings that will become apparent as the story unfolds, but again i have gotten sidetracked from my narrative.

OK, the facts; the taiwanese government would pay for the gamma knife surgery, it would be FREE! but i would have to submit a request and that would take about a month to be granted. no problem, i can wait. but my timing was bad, Chinese New Year was coming up from February 18th - February 22nd (it is a week-long holiday) and dr. chung and his team were going to Japan for a conference just before that. i would only be getting my surgery at the beginning of March. obviously i was not happy, but i just had to wait.