Colin accompanied my mom to the airport in a taxi and picked my dad up from the airport in the same taxi. we just had enough time to put clean sheets on the extra bed and move colin's clothes. My dad would be sleeping in the extra room and colin would join me in the double bed again. it was very stressful for both of us to host one parent and then another in our little flat without a break. but they were both incredibly helpful in their own ways and we couldn't have gotten through those two months without them. so there is something else to add to my blessings list; wonderful parents who flew for 16 hours (one way) to come and help me.
my dad and i have always been closer than my mom and i. when i was young we used to stay up late while he explained cricket to me, or we talked about sci-fi books. when i got older we would get drunk together and talk about 'whatever drunk people talk about'. i was still nervous about seeing him though, 2 years is a long time. my dad is very repressed and has terrible trouble showing his feelings, he is not as practiced as my mother at dealing with either sick people or strange new places. i think he was very freaked out by the situation he found himself in and dealt with it the best way he knew how. first of all, i think taiwan was a bit daunting for him and he didn't know how to handle himself. secondly, his eldest daughter was extremely ill and this terrified him too, especially because he didn't know how to handle me when i was thrashing uncontrollably around the bed and screaming that 'i was gonna die'. my dad also drew the short straw in the sense that he arrived just before i had to go into hospital and have the gamma knife, which was traumatic for all of us. and then i was much sicker than when my mom was here and it was chinese new year so everything was closed. so no fun trips to restaurants or tourist spots for him.
my dad dealt with this horrific situation by spending a lot of time on his laptop and drinking half a bottle of whiskey a night. he was very distant with me and colin most of the time and obviously felt uncomfortable in our flat, although we tried as much as possible to make him feel 'at home'. he didn't go out too much, although towards the end i spoke to him and suggested he go to some places. the horrible thing was that he had to go by himself. i was too sick to leave the house and colin was working. he seemed terribly depressed and awkward and his drinking worried me. i was often in tears to colin worrying about my dad. i didn't know how to reach him and was too sick to try. even now i worry that he is the same in south africa, i hope not. colin thinks that my father is just a creature of habit who doesn't adapt well and he did have it worse than my mom while in taiwan, as i mentioned. anyway, i recently shared my worries with my sister in south africa who revealed that my father had had a girlfriend! i had no idea, whatta secretive man! so i hope he is feeling better now that he is back at home and i hope my sister is looking in on him from time to time.
but, my dad was a great help at the hospital during the gamma knife procedure (the details of which i will leave for another epic post). i think it was especially good for colin to have another man to share the worry with. the final worry before my father left was finding someone who could look after me while colin was at work. we could've gotten a trained taiwanese nurse, but i wasn't that sick. what i really needed was a phillipino or indonesian house assistant. someone who could do the shopping, cooking and cleaning, but would also be able to handle my exorcist spasms. housework is easy, but it takes a strong person to 'keep their wits about them' while i am having convulsions. it's not a pretty sight! so, we asked everybody we knew and had no luck for weeks. we started getting desperate, my dad had to go back to work and we hadn't even interviewed anyone! then, another blessing. colin happened to ask a phillipino woman at his school if she had any friends looking for a job. she did!
we interviewed her friend (3 days before my father left!), and showed her a video we had taken of my convulsions. yes, she could handle that and she can! she has been a godsend, our house is spotless, supper and lunch are always tasty, she is a lovely person and she is happy with us too. we pay her more and treat her better than any of her previous taiwanese employers. so currently, i have a phillipino 'nanny'/house assistant whom my father is paying for. fantastic!
my dad and i have always been closer than my mom and i. when i was young we used to stay up late while he explained cricket to me, or we talked about sci-fi books. when i got older we would get drunk together and talk about 'whatever drunk people talk about'. i was still nervous about seeing him though, 2 years is a long time. my dad is very repressed and has terrible trouble showing his feelings, he is not as practiced as my mother at dealing with either sick people or strange new places. i think he was very freaked out by the situation he found himself in and dealt with it the best way he knew how. first of all, i think taiwan was a bit daunting for him and he didn't know how to handle himself. secondly, his eldest daughter was extremely ill and this terrified him too, especially because he didn't know how to handle me when i was thrashing uncontrollably around the bed and screaming that 'i was gonna die'. my dad also drew the short straw in the sense that he arrived just before i had to go into hospital and have the gamma knife, which was traumatic for all of us. and then i was much sicker than when my mom was here and it was chinese new year so everything was closed. so no fun trips to restaurants or tourist spots for him.
my dad dealt with this horrific situation by spending a lot of time on his laptop and drinking half a bottle of whiskey a night. he was very distant with me and colin most of the time and obviously felt uncomfortable in our flat, although we tried as much as possible to make him feel 'at home'. he didn't go out too much, although towards the end i spoke to him and suggested he go to some places. the horrible thing was that he had to go by himself. i was too sick to leave the house and colin was working. he seemed terribly depressed and awkward and his drinking worried me. i was often in tears to colin worrying about my dad. i didn't know how to reach him and was too sick to try. even now i worry that he is the same in south africa, i hope not. colin thinks that my father is just a creature of habit who doesn't adapt well and he did have it worse than my mom while in taiwan, as i mentioned. anyway, i recently shared my worries with my sister in south africa who revealed that my father had had a girlfriend! i had no idea, whatta secretive man! so i hope he is feeling better now that he is back at home and i hope my sister is looking in on him from time to time.
but, my dad was a great help at the hospital during the gamma knife procedure (the details of which i will leave for another epic post). i think it was especially good for colin to have another man to share the worry with. the final worry before my father left was finding someone who could look after me while colin was at work. we could've gotten a trained taiwanese nurse, but i wasn't that sick. what i really needed was a phillipino or indonesian house assistant. someone who could do the shopping, cooking and cleaning, but would also be able to handle my exorcist spasms. housework is easy, but it takes a strong person to 'keep their wits about them' while i am having convulsions. it's not a pretty sight! so, we asked everybody we knew and had no luck for weeks. we started getting desperate, my dad had to go back to work and we hadn't even interviewed anyone! then, another blessing. colin happened to ask a phillipino woman at his school if she had any friends looking for a job. she did!
we interviewed her friend (3 days before my father left!), and showed her a video we had taken of my convulsions. yes, she could handle that and she can! she has been a godsend, our house is spotless, supper and lunch are always tasty, she is a lovely person and she is happy with us too. we pay her more and treat her better than any of her previous taiwanese employers. so currently, i have a phillipino 'nanny'/house assistant whom my father is paying for. fantastic!
