yes ... ladies and gentlemen ... coming to you live is "ravings of the housebound - the anniversary special"! TA DA! well, i only say this cos i know i missed marking both of my anniversaries this month. so quickly lets give a moment of silence for thursday, 8 may which was my 1 year and 4 months no-smoking, finding AVM anniversary and my 1 year and 1 month writing this blog anniversary. DUM DUM DUM! and also a moment of silence please for the recently passed monday, 12 may which was my 1 year and 3 months gamma knife radio surgery anniversary. 1 year and 3 months ... that sounds so short ... feels like 2 years already ... wish it was 2 years already.
but lets look on the bright side! the reason i cant believe it has only been 1 year and 3 months since my surgery is that so much has happened in that time and i am a million times better than i was in taiwan (happier too!). my recovery speed seems to be increasing exponentially in fact. HOORAY! i have my official south african driver's licence now and just got back from driving my mom's car down to the chemist to buy her some medicine. she is sick in bed with the flu - i think it is what i had while we were at pearly beach. it is nice for me to be able to look after her for a change. i have recently realised that in some ways i have become lazy ... i have become so used to being sick, being cared for and not having to do things myself that i sometimes neglect to do simple things to help around the house or to go shopping etc. BUT that is going to change! a lot of things are going to change!
but maybe i should start at the beginning. the reason for my new outlook, my new-found power ... well, there are a few. first of all, it has been great having my friend staying with me. she reminds me of what it is to be a fully-functioning adult and i wish she wasn't moving out actually ;-). the driving has also helped remind me what it feels like to be independent, strong. in fact, i am going to a friend's house for dinner and i am driving there tonight. YAY! it's not that i can now go gallivanting with my mom's car, but it is just a great physical and mental step towards adulthood for me. a step towards responsibility, real life ... man! its scary!
another positive step is getting off the clonazepam. yesterday i went down by another 0.5 mg a day and i have been feeling ok. a bit jittery and teary-eyed, but i know that it is the medication so i try to just ignore it.
what else has been making me feel good? i am making a bit more money with my proofreading. i havent managed to find any more work, but i am getting more work from the one company that i am proofreading for AND most of the stuff i am proofing is interesting. bonus! some of it is about how the 'brand name' of a company has become worth more than the company itself. eg: the name 'playstation' is worth a lot more than the actual company, but it is intangible so how do you calculate the worth of a brand name? complicated, but interesting. there was also an interesting article on semiotics and how important it is in marketing. how one must be careful to use culturally correct images/signifiers to advertise a brand. eg: in the west the colour red means danger, but in the east red is the colour of celebration. this is interesting for me as i studied anthropology. and i studied english so the proofreading itself is fun too. fits perfectly with my pedantic side ;-).
i have also been continuing my "promote sue" campaign where i basically make sure that i am staying in touch with and seeing friends. this campaign is going well and i am very lucky to have a lot of wonderful friends who know that i am wonderful too. you teach others how to treat you. i am friendly and caring towards people and they are friendly and caring towards me. if not - then they are assholes and not worth my time anyway. with this attitude i have managed to find and keep seeing long-lost friends which is very exciting AND i am making some new friends. in fact, i am pretty happy in cape town. if i could find a way to make money and live comfortably here then i wouldnt leave. the more time i spend here, the more places i go, the more friends i make, the more i realise how special south africa and south africans are. but for now, the plan is still to return to taiwan next year some time. i have a lot of exploring still to do ... my friends will always be there as long as i am there for them too.
but i am forgetting two very important happenings ...
saturday, may 10 was a friend of mines birthday party. my visiting friend from thailand (visitor) is back in town, which has been lovely and we all went off to drink and watch rugby for this other friend's birthday. and guess what! i got drunk and i DANCED and i got home at 4 am - swaying, hee hee. it was fucking amazing! liberating! ecstasy! what i have been wishing for, moaning about ... I CAN DO IT! I'M BACK! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and the best thing about the drunken evening was not just that i had so much fun, but that i got to do it with two very good friends who i love dearly - it was a wonderful bonding experience for us to be able to party together like that again. and i got to bond with my friends boyfriend and discovered that we have the same birthday! how cool is that!?! i hate to brag, but i know that i am a lot of fun to go out with right now because all this dancing and partying is new to me, i'm like a kid. i cant help but be happy and energetic.
tuesday, may 13 i went to check out this self-growth course that my friend had told me about. i went with her boyfriend, who is a lovely guy and i got to sit in and see what the course is all about. as i have said before, i would usually 'poo poo' this kind of thing. be very critical and sceptical, but i have grown so much already and have learnt a lot about life and myself that i no longer feel the need to protect myself with scepticism and a false sense of superiority. i dont need to deride others to make myself feel better so, i went with an open mind. it was very interesting. really it is about changing the way that you look at your life, discovering the reality of what drives you and taking responsibility for your actions. it is about letting go of the past and becoming a better person. i wont say that i fell for all the 'buzz words' or the "it changed my life" stories, but a lot of what was said in those 3 hours made a lot of sense to me. i have just signed up to do the course at the end of august. my parents offered to pay for it - it is not expensive, but i still wouldnt have been able to afford it if it wasnt for mom and dad. THANK YOU! so, that is another adventure to look forward to. i think it will be more useful (and a helluva lot cheaper!) than going to see a psychologist once a week for the next year.
anything else? oh yes! i was almost part of the practical exam for wannabe neurosurgeons. hee hee. i was asked by my doctor to be a 'patient' for these exams. sure, why not. i went to the hospital on friday, 9 may with a friendly professor of neurosurgery. he was going to examine me and then i would have to spend the day at the hospital on monday, 12 may while 3/4 young doctors examined me and tried to guess what was wrong with me. kinda mean considering how weird my case is. and that is exactly what the professors of neurosurgery decided! the friendly neurosurgeon examined me and found that everything is perfectly normal (YAY!) except for my reflexes. when you hit below my knee, my stomach muscles tighten and pull me forward and when you lie me on my back and bend my leg up then my body and neck lift up too. BIZARRE!! the friendly professor of neurosurgery was completely amazed. it was decided that if the professors couldn't explain my case then the poor students wouldnt have a chance. i like being bizarre! ;-)
BUT even more than that ... i am liking becoming "normal" again!
