today the dog woke me up at 5:30 am with its barking. i started thinking about him - he is never far from my thoughts right now. i have tried to be angry with him, i have tried to hate him, i have tried to be rational, i have tried to be philosophical, i have tried to trick myself BUT one thing still remains. i love him. i miss him. so today ... i cry cos i need to.
i wonder what tomorrow will bring?
but whatever happens i will continue to try and see my friends, i will keep getting better, i will force myself to appreciate what i have right now, i will start coming off the clonazepam in May, i will go to our family beach house with my mom in May and i will continue to hope that maybe ... one day .... we can be together again.
ALWAYS REMEMBER:
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not;
remember that what you now have was once among the things only hoped for."
