and yes, here is my other anniversary rearing it's ugly head. this is the anniversary of my actual gamma knife radio surgery. it has been one year + 1 month since i had the surgery (11 months to go). my health has definitely improved, but not as drastically as i would like. it is very difficult for people to understand my illness as i have times when i am perfectly fine and strong and other times when i am very sick. i seem to get two good weeks and then two bad weeks a month, if i can quantify it like that.
when i look at that picture of the girl in pink pyjamas, oxygen tubes coming out of her nose, stereotactic head frame screwed to her head i feel like crying for her because she had to go through all that and i wonder how on earth she ever did it. then i have to remember that it's me and i realise how far i have really come. how healthy i am, how good i look compared to that girl in the hospital pyjamas. compared to that time; when i couldn't even walk to the bathroom, where i was having 3 hour convulsions twice a day, where i couldn't stand up in the shower and had to lie in bed with a blanket over my head most of the time to try and control my nausea. looking at that photo, remembering those times i realise how unSICK i am right now. sure, i'm nowhere near 100% and i am way past kidding myself that i will be fully recovered earlier than february 2009. but that is OK!
i am comfortable where i am right now. enjoying being at home. having some friends around. having colin around. having family around. getting good medical care, which is all just around the corner from my house! and i am desperately lapping up the african sun before winter hits ;-).
