Sabina, Elvis and Wei Wei (L to R)
it all starts at school on Halloween. i was telling a ghost story to the kids who were all dressed-up for 'trick or treating' just like in the picture. aaaw i miss them and hope they miss me. actually knowing kids they have probably forgotten me already :'( anyway, as i stood up i felt terrible vertigo (like the room is spinning). i couldn't stand up by myself, my hands started shaking uncontrollably and went very cold. i freaked out, i had never felt anything like that before. i have fainted and know what feeling dizzy or faint is, but this was something different. it also seemed to be linked to vaginal bleeding and bowel movements. anyway, my manager just thought i had low blood sugar and the local doctor thought i had gastric flu. That is the medical answer for most problems in Taiwan, a cold.
So, the feeling went away and i continued to work for the rest of the day. The next week it happened again. And this happened once or twice a week for the next three weeks. in between i felt perfectly fine. i went to different GP's, not having a reliable doctor in taiwan and got no help. one friday i got a nose bleed - the one and only ever in my life and this really scared me. i left work and went to taipei city hospital, but i didn't know what kind of doctor to see since i had so many different symptoms. i ended up waiting for a gynae for 3 hours, by myself in a taiwanese hospital. i was feeling weak and panicky so by the time i got in to see the doctor i just burst into tears. which didn't seem to impress him at all. he did an ultrasound and my uterus etc was fine, so he sent me to another doctor for the vertigo and digestion problems. this doctor threw some pills at me and told me he didn't know what it was. and i had always thought that that was a doctor's job; to find out what was wrong. So, i was in a state. i had spent 5 hours alone in a taiwanese hospital and had gotten no help or comfort. then colin came striding through the entrance to help me out. thank god! i had started feeling like i was in the place that drives you mad from "The Twelve Tasks of Asterix".
Oh yes, the other doctor was the ENT specialist. vertigo is often associated with inner ear problems. by that time i was getting nausea, blurred vision, pressure and popping in my ears accompanied by earache. i was also having severe balance problems where i would fall forwards, backwards or sideways, but never fall completely over. and i was having short muscle spasms. like my thigh muscle would just tighten suddenly. or my hand would shake or i would frown uncontrollably. or i would have pain and spasm in my stomach. or sometimes i would have uncontrollable shaking, in my hands, my legs, even my voice. i continued to try and work, but often had to go home in tears because i was so terrified of what was happening to my body - especially because i didn't know what it was. what made it worse was that i could feel there was something terribly wrong, but i had all my friends suggesting, perhaps it is psychosomatic. colin telling me i am having panic attacks. it's all in my head. no, it was all in my body for me.
eventually i was told to go to a neurologist, after about a month of bouncing around between doctors. the neurologist was a complete asshole who didn't really seem to believe half of what i was saying. he ordered a caloric test. basically this is where they blow hot and then cold air into your ears and then watch your eyes for nystagmus. nystagmus is when your pupils jump up and down while you are staring straight ahead. this is supposed to happen when you have cold or hot air shoved into your ears. this was an excruciating test and i had trouble walking afterwards. so, i go to the doctor and he says no, there is damage to my left inner ear. well, what caused the damage? can you give me an explanation? "I don't know". Hmmm so far I had just seen a whole lotta doctors who didn't seem to know a whole lot.
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