Sis, me and mom
so, i have described how emotionally stressful and weird it has been for me returning home, but now i would like to start moving forward with my narrative. the month of november was full of changes, revelations, resolutions and readjustments.
i met my new doctor for the first time on wednesay, november 7. he is what is called a 'neurosurgeon interventionist', which from what i understand means that he is trained as a neurosurgeon, but he is also able to do the job of a neurologist, which is following a patient's case on the clinical side and dealing with medication etc. so, he is not just a 'slice and dice' man. he is a lovely man. warm and friendly, he puts you at ease immediately. and he is one of the most respected in the country. so, once again, i was very lucky to get a fantastic doctor. he was very funny and found my case bizarre and interesting.
eg: everyone knows the standard reflex test that a doctor gives you where you get tapped on the knee by a hammer and your leg shoots forward. now, when this test is administered on me the whole side of my body does this jiggle and shake collapse all the way from my shoulder. when my new doctor saw this his eyes lit up like 'a kid in a candy shop' and he asked shyly "please may i do that again?". there were all sorts of other things that he found fascinating about my condition, mostly to do with muscle tone in my joints and my many other symptoms. i asked him about the constant popping that i experience in my ears and he just gave me a whimsical smile and said, with a wink in his voice "let's just leave that one for the moment, shall we?" why?! because he has no idea why i have that particular symptom ;-).
but the best thing about my visit to my new doctor is that he was adamant that i should slowly start coming off ALL the medication that i have been taking for so long. "do you think they're helping?" he asked. ummm ... NO, actually. so, the first drug i was weaned off was the baclofen. it took a month of me slowly reducing the amount of tablets i take by one a week. by friday, november 30 i was off the baclofen for good with no problems. it actually made me feel better to be off it because, of course, all these drugs that i am taking can actually cause a lot of the symptoms that i already suffer from like nausea, seizures, imbalance, loss of muscle control etc etc. the other fantastic thing about finally being off the baclofen was that i now only had to take medication twice a day rather than 4 times a day. sometimes i still get anxious around lunch time thinking that i should be swallowing some pill or other, but NO, i dont need to. HOORAY!
however, i still got really sick in november a few times where i had hour long convulsions and was vomiting etc. on thursday, november 15 i had terrible neck spasms and full body muscle stiffening (extremely painful) and was vomiting thanks to uncontrollable stomach spasms that made me rock backwards and forwards very quickly, shaking my whole body. this is of course accompanied by fantastic waves of nausea. the reason for these horrible spasms were discovered thanks to my mother, who is a nurse. i had been taking these headache tablets that were packed with ibuprofen and aspirin. my stomach is very sensitive at the moment and it was actually the headache tablets that were making me vomit. so, now i take paracetamol, which is very gentle on the stomach.
on monday, november 19 i went to stay at colin's house for a few days because my mom was having the bathroom ripped apart and put back together, which threatened to be very noisy. i was very upset about this at first as i felt that i had come home to get away from the noise of construction only to have it follow me into my very own house (they are still working on the bathroom now, actually). anyway, by tuesday, november 20 i was sick as a dog. my nausea was so bad that i couldn't get out of bed all day and i was having horrible convulsions and vomiting again. why?! i think it was a combination of stress and rich food. my grandmother (dad's mom) had had her 80th birthday lunch on sunday, november 18 and i had eaten loads of rich food and then i went to colin's house where there was no salad and ended up eating way too much pizza. i think all of this combined to make me horribly ill. the worst thing about it was that an old friend of mine was supposed to come and visit me on tuesday night and i had to cancel 45 minutes before she arrived because i was vomiting, crying and shaking on colin's bed like a rag doll. i also had to cancel with two other old friends who had planned to visit me on wednesday, november 21. i was driving back home with my mom at the time that they were going to visit.
having to cancel these visits was really awful for me. i was feeling terribly lonely and isolated, while colin was running around partying and seeing friends, i had been (and still am) desperately trying to get into contact with old friends and cajole them into coming and visiting me. i feel like i am constantly doing PR work to promote myself. bugging people with sms's and messages over the internet basically saying "hello! i'm over here! come see me! PLEASE!" but colin was/has been great about visiting me and slept/sleeps over at least one night a week, which makes me happy. especially since i kept stressing about him going out to clubs, getting fucked and then finding himself in bed with some beautiful cape town chicky before he even realised what he was doing. it's not that i don't trust colin, but i don't trust intoxicants like drugs and alcohol that make you forget who and where you are. of course, he would never do anything like that to me sober. i know he loves me, is devoted to me and i love him, but that little bit of insecurity is still there sometimes. i cant go out and party with him. we still cant even have sex. seriously!
but on the social side i did manage to spend time with my grandparents, both my dad's mom and my mom's parents and my uncle (mom's brother) and my aunt (dad's sister). and i really love their company. my family has become incredibly important to me after being away for 3 years and then getting sick. unfortunately, i was still struggling to connect with my sister and her boyfriend. but then, my sister and i have always been very different people. she is quite anti-social and i'm not sure she really likes me that much (even if she has to love me ;-).
i met my new doctor for the first time on wednesay, november 7. he is what is called a 'neurosurgeon interventionist', which from what i understand means that he is trained as a neurosurgeon, but he is also able to do the job of a neurologist, which is following a patient's case on the clinical side and dealing with medication etc. so, he is not just a 'slice and dice' man. he is a lovely man. warm and friendly, he puts you at ease immediately. and he is one of the most respected in the country. so, once again, i was very lucky to get a fantastic doctor. he was very funny and found my case bizarre and interesting.
eg: everyone knows the standard reflex test that a doctor gives you where you get tapped on the knee by a hammer and your leg shoots forward. now, when this test is administered on me the whole side of my body does this jiggle and shake collapse all the way from my shoulder. when my new doctor saw this his eyes lit up like 'a kid in a candy shop' and he asked shyly "please may i do that again?". there were all sorts of other things that he found fascinating about my condition, mostly to do with muscle tone in my joints and my many other symptoms. i asked him about the constant popping that i experience in my ears and he just gave me a whimsical smile and said, with a wink in his voice "let's just leave that one for the moment, shall we?" why?! because he has no idea why i have that particular symptom ;-).
but the best thing about my visit to my new doctor is that he was adamant that i should slowly start coming off ALL the medication that i have been taking for so long. "do you think they're helping?" he asked. ummm ... NO, actually. so, the first drug i was weaned off was the baclofen. it took a month of me slowly reducing the amount of tablets i take by one a week. by friday, november 30 i was off the baclofen for good with no problems. it actually made me feel better to be off it because, of course, all these drugs that i am taking can actually cause a lot of the symptoms that i already suffer from like nausea, seizures, imbalance, loss of muscle control etc etc. the other fantastic thing about finally being off the baclofen was that i now only had to take medication twice a day rather than 4 times a day. sometimes i still get anxious around lunch time thinking that i should be swallowing some pill or other, but NO, i dont need to. HOORAY!
however, i still got really sick in november a few times where i had hour long convulsions and was vomiting etc. on thursday, november 15 i had terrible neck spasms and full body muscle stiffening (extremely painful) and was vomiting thanks to uncontrollable stomach spasms that made me rock backwards and forwards very quickly, shaking my whole body. this is of course accompanied by fantastic waves of nausea. the reason for these horrible spasms were discovered thanks to my mother, who is a nurse. i had been taking these headache tablets that were packed with ibuprofen and aspirin. my stomach is very sensitive at the moment and it was actually the headache tablets that were making me vomit. so, now i take paracetamol, which is very gentle on the stomach.
on monday, november 19 i went to stay at colin's house for a few days because my mom was having the bathroom ripped apart and put back together, which threatened to be very noisy. i was very upset about this at first as i felt that i had come home to get away from the noise of construction only to have it follow me into my very own house (they are still working on the bathroom now, actually). anyway, by tuesday, november 20 i was sick as a dog. my nausea was so bad that i couldn't get out of bed all day and i was having horrible convulsions and vomiting again. why?! i think it was a combination of stress and rich food. my grandmother (dad's mom) had had her 80th birthday lunch on sunday, november 18 and i had eaten loads of rich food and then i went to colin's house where there was no salad and ended up eating way too much pizza. i think all of this combined to make me horribly ill. the worst thing about it was that an old friend of mine was supposed to come and visit me on tuesday night and i had to cancel 45 minutes before she arrived because i was vomiting, crying and shaking on colin's bed like a rag doll. i also had to cancel with two other old friends who had planned to visit me on wednesday, november 21. i was driving back home with my mom at the time that they were going to visit.
having to cancel these visits was really awful for me. i was feeling terribly lonely and isolated, while colin was running around partying and seeing friends, i had been (and still am) desperately trying to get into contact with old friends and cajole them into coming and visiting me. i feel like i am constantly doing PR work to promote myself. bugging people with sms's and messages over the internet basically saying "hello! i'm over here! come see me! PLEASE!" but colin was/has been great about visiting me and slept/sleeps over at least one night a week, which makes me happy. especially since i kept stressing about him going out to clubs, getting fucked and then finding himself in bed with some beautiful cape town chicky before he even realised what he was doing. it's not that i don't trust colin, but i don't trust intoxicants like drugs and alcohol that make you forget who and where you are. of course, he would never do anything like that to me sober. i know he loves me, is devoted to me and i love him, but that little bit of insecurity is still there sometimes. i cant go out and party with him. we still cant even have sex. seriously!
but on the social side i did manage to spend time with my grandparents, both my dad's mom and my mom's parents and my uncle (mom's brother) and my aunt (dad's sister). and i really love their company. my family has become incredibly important to me after being away for 3 years and then getting sick. unfortunately, i was still struggling to connect with my sister and her boyfriend. but then, my sister and i have always been very different people. she is quite anti-social and i'm not sure she really likes me that much (even if she has to love me ;-).
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