Anniversary

as always this day must be marked. it is over a year ago that i quit smoking and was diagnosed with an AVM on my brain stem. exactly 1 month and 1 year ago, in fact. i have come off some of my meds, my health has improved dramatically since then. i can even have sex once in a while if i am feeling ok and i take a xanax ;-). but i still have convulsions, i still cant walk too far, do too much, stay out too late, drive a car, dance. i am still NOT normal.

mentally and emotionally i deal with my sickness, my confinement, my seperation from the 'normal' by writing on this blog and trying to keep myself busy. i try to focus on the positives in my life - being home in cape town in summer is definitely one of them, colin's unwavering love and support is another, my family is another ... i have many blessings to be thankful for. and i feel more mentally stable now than i was in taiwan.

but i wont lie, i am getting fucking impatient!

PS. i also started this blog 10 months ago today!